There is a reason I’ve left these posts for last. These topics are not easy to discuss, even for those of us who are willing. And for those of us who aren’t – for we who keep these secrets buried in our hearts and homes for fear of what the light might bring – it can be downright terrifying.
So here goes, friends. Let’s shine some light in that darkness.
Here is the first of three Secrets I will post today.
Secret #28: Sometimes we yell at our kids.
Sometimes the monster comes out. For me, it is a monster I’d never met until I had children – which, you know, makes me feel AWESOME. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve yelled at someone in my life… until I had these sweet babies.
As mamas, we have a new understanding of Dr. Jekyll’s condition. We are not proud of this. In fact, we are quite ashamed. But we have raised our voices in the heat of the moment and we have said things we shouldn’t and we are afraid to tell you so.
Early in my parenting career (should we all start using that phrase in hopes that someone might start paying us?), I learned an important truth:
Apologizing to my children is not only permissible, it is vital.
Some may argue against this, saying it dilutes parental authority, confuses the child, and so on. And maybe to an extent this is true. What is truer, however, is that there are times I owe my children an apology. They are real people with real feelings and tender hearts. And I want them to know I love them enough to admit when I fall, to say I’m sorry when I’m wrong, and to teach them that even grownups need grace. Lots and lots of grace.
Yes, sometimes I blow my top. Sometimes I raise my voice. Sometimes I act like a class-A jerk to the people I love most. I hurl careless words at these insanely cute human beings I have the privilege of raising into adults. And I tell them I’m sorry and I tell them I love them, and we pray to God that He will help us love each other better, the way that He loves us.
Then we play Star Wars or eat a cookie or read a book, or we just sit quietly for awhile.
And all of that is grace.
This secret is related to the next, one of my deepest and darkest that I am learning to say out loud. I’ll tell it here later today for those of you who carry it, too…
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